When used between spouses is 당신 seen as polite or endearing?

Question

I understand 당신 is a very intimate form of "you" when used between spouses. But is it only used as a term to convey romantic feelings? Could it also be used as a kind or polite personal pronoun when you are intentionally acting formally with your spouse, without romantic intent? As in lovingly but not necessarily with love.

To give it a bit more context, I read this in an MTLed Korean fiction that I am reading. The protagonist is ending his relationship with his wife. But at the same time he harbors no anger or ill-will against her. He addresses her with 당신 which indicated intimacy. However it confused me because he is also letting her go. So, was it his way of letting her go with kindness? As a deliberate way of showing even though he isn't in love with her anymore, he still feels a certain closeness and cannot feel angry at her.

Answer 1

I think you were misinformed about the usage of 당신. It's somewhat old fashioned (think someone in 50s or older), but it's a standard version of "you" between a married couple.

Just like English "you", you can say the word romantically, aggressively, nonchalantly, or whatever, but the word itself doesn't convey any extra emotion. It's just "you".